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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293957">An Introverts Guide to Dating</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trista_zevkia/pseuds/Trista_zevkia'>Trista_zevkia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Obligatory Tumbler Response Series [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Superman/Batman (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Identity Porn, M/M, Pre-Slash, Secret Identity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:28:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trista_zevkia/pseuds/Trista_zevkia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a post, somewhere, about Introverts needing their soul mate to just show up in the living room so they know they are supposed to be together. What if said introvert was a caped crusader?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Obligatory Tumbler Response Series [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/330670</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>212</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>An Introverts Guide to Dating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>2020 took my words away. It's something of a Christmas miricle that I wrote anything. So it might take me a while to reply to any comments. Hope you enjoy the short story!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Climate change was real and it was keeping Batman indoors. They were expecting four feet of snow this Christmas Eve and even the Penguin was holed up in his Iceberg Lounge. Massive amounts of Wayne Charities monies had been put toward gathering up the homeless and that slipped through their normal efforts.</p><p>
At stately Wayne Manor, Bruce relaxed in his study. This involved a journal on abnormal psychology and his tablet ran instructional videos in the latest forensic technology. He was stretched out on the chase lounge, his left ankle resting on a pillow. A table next to him held several sandwiches cut into triangles and bite sized pieces of fruit. He munched as he read, almost as if unaware of the food that was making it into his mouth. </p><p>
Occasionally Alfred would drift into the room as if to take care of the fire, refill Master Wayne's water glass, or sneak more food onto the table. This time it was spice cookies with confectioners' sugar icing. Bruce noticed when he ate one of those, the delicious flavor bringing him out of his journal.   </p><p>
"Alfred, are you trying to make me too fat to fit into the suit?" </p><p>
"On the contrary, I'm simply trying to keep you fighting fit." Unable to sit still but glad of the conversation, Alfred began dusting the book shelves. "I am thrilled that you have decided to take this night off." </p><p>
"I might take the plane out later and look for heat signatures trapped under the snow." </p><p>
"Perhaps you could take this time to return a few text messages. You had a good time with Elena Van DerSlutte and she has been looking for more of a relationship." </p><p>
"Despite what my Brucie personality would have you believe, I'm really an invert." </p><p>
"I fail to see what that has to do with someone you already know." </p><p>
"It means if fate or whatever really wants me to have a partner, they'll drop in here so we can get married and live happily ever after, fighting crime together." Bruce's attention was already being pulled back into his journal, though he did grab another cookie, this time on purpose. </p><p>
Alfred shook his head, despairing. Between what Alfred thought Bruce needed and Bruce's unwillingness to look for a match, Alfred began to doubt he'd ever find someone to take care of Bruce. Alfred shook his head at his thoughts, and shook it so hard the ground started to shake. Placing a hand on the bookcase to steady himself, Alfred looked around. </p><p>
Bruce was alert, rolling to his feet in that predatory way he had about him. He was able to leap out of the way, grabbing Alfred and getting them both on the ground as a comet came in the window behind the desk. </p><p>
A red and blue comet with silver highlights. Superman had Metallo in a headlock, trying to get the metal man to stop fighting him. </p><p>
As Alfred regained his feet Bruce was already there, pulling the large chunk of Kryptonite from Metallo's chest. Casually, he threw it through the hole in the window and wall, getting the Kryptonite far enough away that Superman was able to reign in Metallo. </p><p>
Defeated, Metallo still turned a befuddled look on Brucie, much like the one Superman had. </p><p>
"Well, thank you Mr. Wayne." Superman politely said. "But how did you know to do that?" </p><p>
"I'm sure everyone knows the glowing green rock is bad for Superman." Brucie offered the two intruders a dazzling smile before moving over to stand in front of the fire. The move brought Superman back to reality and he shook his head before taking control of the situation. </p><p>
"Right. I'll take Metallo to the nearest facility that can hold him and be right back. I should be able to get that wall fixed, so you don't freeze tonight. I do apologize for breaking the wall." </p><p>
With a nod to Alfred and Bruce, Superman lifted Metallo and flew them both back out the way they had come. </p><p>
"Master Bruce, " Alfred started once Superman was outside the house. "May I direct your attention to what you said just before we were interrupted." </p><p>
"I don't think Metallo's my type." Bruce offered in a flat voice. </p><p>
Superman had excellent hearing and catching this bizarre phrase he listened in even as he flew away. </p><p>
"Most amusing, Sir." </p><p>
"You're not as funny as you think you are either, Alfred." </p><p>
Superman shook off the conversation, sure he wasn't qualified to discuss normal relations between employer and butler. But that was some quick thinking on Brucie's part, and he didn't have a reputation for either. He'd have to pay close attention to them while he was fixing the wall. What an embarrassing way to be introduced to someone he'd been trying to interview for months now. That was a good thing about a secret identity, a second chance to make a good first impression. That had to go better, right? </p>
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